By IANS,
Washington : US President Barack Obama cut short his inauguration address, skipping six pages, as the speech was ruined by incessent jackhammering from a nearby park, if a report in the spoof-only publication Onion is to be believed.
“President Barack Obama’s Inauguration Day address – a speech that many believed would jumpstart the healing process of an ailing nation, foster hope and goodwill across the world, and serve as the ultimate stamp on the Democrat’s historic win – was ruined Tuesday by nearly two hours of nonstop jackhammering,” reported the paper.
The Onion has been popular for publishing nothing but humourous but imaginary reports, with headlines like “Lazy Nation Fears Obama Will Create Millions Of Jobs” and “Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are”.
The report goes on: “According to D.C. officials, the jackhammering interrupted the landmark address on 30 separate occasions and came from the nearby U.S. Botanic Garden, where it was being used to break up pavement for a new Heroes of Horticulture exhibit.
“ ‘My fellow-,’ began Obama, who then stopped when he and the 2.5 million citizens present, some of whom had travelled thousands of miles to experience the once-in-a-lifetime event, were startled by loud, metal-on-concrete banging. ‘My fell…my fell…my-.’
“’Is that a jackhammer?’ Obama added.”
According to the Onion, Obama countered the jackhammering with an impromptu joke: “Well, I know one guy who doesn’t need a job”, but the usually poised orator soon grew annoyed as it became clear that the shrill thumping was not going to stop.
“ ‘If the person currently operating the jackhammer can hear me, please stop,’ Obama said at approximately the eight-minute mark of his speech. ‘Seriously, please. Stop it now.’ ”
During a particularly loud spell of thuds, Obama muttered, “Oh, come on.”
Moreover, the paper said a transcript released by his campaign prior to the address revealed that Obama ultimately cut the speech short by six pages, omitting a section about the conflict in Afghanistan and a point-by-point explanation of his economic recovery plan.