Professional career gives respect and security to women
Submitted by admin on 8 February 2010 - 11:55pm
By Zohra Javed,
I recently read an article "stay-at-home-mom", which talked about how essential it is for a woman to be there for her children when they are growing up, and that women professionals often end up neglecting their home and family. Indeed there can be no two opinions on the importance of the mother's role in the life of her children. I am an ardent champion of what the writer calls a "stay-at-home mom". But I also realise that she and I are among those fortunate women who have a supportive family and the satisfaction of a comfortable life.
However life is not easy for most of the females out there who are slogging day in and day out. They may have got used to their daily grind, but it is their courage to bear it all with a smile, balancing a home and a career.
It is said that the ordinary homemaker has to come face-to-face with what is called the "empty nest syndrome." That is when the children grow up and lead their separate life the parents are left all by themselves. And for a woman who has had no other occupation than living for her husband and children, the emptiness may seem to be depressing. But is it only the housewife who misses her children? Let us accept this reality. Even the working women go through this phase of loneliness. When children grow up and take on the challenges in life, at some time or other they have to move out of the wings of their parents and experience life on their own. It is their privilege as it was ours a couple of decades back.
It is now taken for granted that girls will opt for a career and most women, especially in the urban areas are taken to be career women. Therefore people often are surprised when I tell them that I have never been a career woman. One of my cousins who is about ten years younger to me had once wondered with much sympathy to me as to why I never thought of a career. But perhaps I was an odd one in my time too as I never planned a future while the rest of the girls in my class would be busy preparing for entrance tests of all kinds under the sun!
Having said this, I think it is necessary for girls today to be financially independent. It is their basic safeguard. It is the best gift parents can give to their daughters. It guarantees them confidence and security (at least financial) and thus respect too. In case of a failed marriage or the loss of her husband, she does not become a burden on the male family members or a prey to the lustful ideas of other men around her. And in her marriage too usually a woman professional is much more in command of her life than the "ordinary housewife."
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Conversation between a Working lady And his Son.
Last day i recieved an E-mail i just want to share it, since it is on the topic, dont take it in the negative manner.
A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.
SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'
MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.
SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'If you must know, I make $ 50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow $ 25?'
The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..
The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down , and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and she really didn't ask for money very often.The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.
'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Mummy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.
Career Women
Women should use their God-given talents to pursue careers in the professions, arts, business, teaching or whatever career opportunity is meaningful to them. Financial independence enhances their self-esteem and militates against subservience. Having a career is not incompatible with motherhood, especially in families in which both husband and wife share domestic responsibilities. It is sad that many careers such as acting in films which have proved very lucrative for Muslim men are closed to Muslim women. Such gender-based blocks in the field of arts must be removed.
Lustful men
According to the author:
"she does not become a burden on the male family members or a prey to the lustful ideas of other men around her" - Ma'am you are presupposing that there will be no lustful men in the workplace- this is selective discrimination against the male gender..
Re: lustful men - @ Shaheen
Shaheen,
There may be lustful men, but isn't Burqa meant to stop the oogling from these men. If they have to be at home, they will not remain in Burqa and so they might fall prey to the lustful men around, but if they choose a carrer, they have less chance to come across one. Does it make sense?
Giri's sensemaking
Dear Giri,
Are you implying that women should go to work in a burqa so that they are safe from lustful men (assuming that probability of encountering such men is equal @ home and office)?
That was the only logical sense my small mind could make from your demo of sensible analysis.
When girls in Sangh-ruled states like Karnataka are being restricted from coming to college in head-scarves, please give us indication of how many companies are willing to let burqa-clad women come to work?
My hunch is that due to excessive reading and surfing, you have confused this article with the other discussion on burqa going on @ TCN (for this one doesn't mention burqa at all) - it doesn't matter if you don't admit it, we are all human but do take a break!
Re: Shaheen making sense of my post
Shaheen,
You got it right what i meant. What is wrong in what i said when you people (not you, but general) insist having women wear Burqa as ordained in Quran. A mufti has said this while opposing Farooque's statements on viel. So when muslim women insist and are ready to wear, what is wrong in wearing and going to office.
Sangh Parivar example is lame. Out of thousands of colleges and institutions, they opposed in one college, which is not even heard of. Why are you taking this example to make your point.
Also, yes you right that i am reading a lot but i am not confused. I wanted to relate both the things - career and women with burqa - and if that is what empowers muslim women then let them go for it.
By the way, i am from Hyderabad and i have seen women wearing viels to offices or colleges, so it wont surprise me.
Lust and Logic
For sake of clarity, let me reiterate what I meant:
- The writer claimed that women who go to office, will be safe from lustful men at home, and will not become a burden on the family
- I poked a hole in this proposition (as any logical mind would) by stating the obvious- that lustful men exist in office too
- Your wise comment was that women going to office would be safer from both sets of lustful men - this was based on the assumption (as we just discussed) that these women will go to office in burqa - hence safe from lustful office guys; and since they spend less time at home, they are also safe from lustful family members
Now, dear Giri, by doing so you have admitted to two facts - lustful men exist at the workplace, and the Islamic concept of hijab/burqa is a valid one for any society. I hope you will never again question these requirements. In fact, the corollary is that since 'lustful men at office' could be from any religion, all our sisters (irrespective of faith) should start donning hijab/burqa. Rationally, you should agree to this too, especially as you are from Hyderabad and are used to seeing women in veils.
Regarding the original question of whether or not women should work, it is best to leave it to women instead of giving any blanket prescription.
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