Love and marriage in the time of HIV

By Sahil Makkar, IANS

Hyderabad : Their loved ones may have deserted them, but their hearts are still young. Many HIV-positive people in Andhra Pradesh are tying the knot, becoming one another’s support till they breathe their last.


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Finding themselves socially isolated and traumatised, they have formed an exclusive group, Telugu Network of Positive People. With 36,000 people, the network is trying to reach every nook and corner of the costal state to spread awareness.

It is also providing a viable platform to affected people to come forward and become life partners. In the past two years, at least 300 such couples have got married.

Venkateshwara Rao, 35, and Durga Ratan Kumari, 30, both HIV positive and divorced from the first marriages, narrated the twists and turns of their lives to IANS. They recently got married in the presence of 8,000 HIV-positive people through the network while fighting the stigma attached to the disease.

Rao, who hails from Krishna district, said: “In 2002, I got married to an ordinary village woman, but she deserted me within two years after I was diagnosed with HIV. She was scared of the disease like all others. Her parents took her away after she underwent the same test on doctors’ advice and was found negative. We had no children.

“I left my village after my father, who was responsible for my infection, died of HIV. Soon villagers made my life miserable. I reached Warangal district. I was alone thinking about the blow destiny had dealt to me.

“I didn’t realise when depression and frustration surrounded me completely and one day I decided to take the extreme step. I went to a railway platform, thinking of hurling myself before a fast moving train. But I couldn’t.

“I made two more similar attempts, but remained unsuccessful. On the fourth occasion I was encountered by an activist of the network. He talked to me at length and patiently listened to the tragedy of my life. The activist took me to a care and support centre, where I was not merely counselled but provided treatment. After a few months I joined the network and become an active member in spreading the message.

His new wife, Durga Ratan Kumari, had a similar tale to tell.

Kumari, who hails from Warangal district, said: “Two years ago she contracted HIV from her husband, who used to regularly visit prostitutes. Blaming him for her status, she returned to her parents.

“I took anti-retroviral treatment and afterwards I too joined the network. Here I met him, but six months before we had never thought that one day we would be enjoying each other’s company,” she said, shying. Asked how their marriage was solemnised, Kumari said: “It was an arranged marriage though both of us were working for the network. My parents and relatives were forcing me to get married again and I was left with no choice. Then I decided to marry an HIV+ person so that a healthy person would not get affected thorough me.”

Andhra Pradesh, home to 500,000 HIV infected people, forms 20 percent of India’s AIDS map and many impoverished villagers in the state have fallen victim to the deadly virus.

However, the dark horizon has started brightening as the awareness levels of these not so literate villagers have gone up substantially. Around 90 percent of infected people in the state have contracted the virus from unsafe sex.

A. Ramesh Babu, who is HIV+ and heads the network, said: “HIV- positive marriages are very safe if you are using condoms and taking other precautions. Before solemnising such marriages we counsel thoroughly and couples are advised not to have children.

“In the past two years at least 300 HIV-positive couples have tied the knot through the network and they are enjoying a good life,” he added.

HIV+ people in the state have another reason to cheer as a local monthly magazine Pelli Patrika has agreed to publish free of cost four matrimonial advertisements for HIV+ people .

Currently, India is home to nearly 2.5 million HIV/AIDS patients, including 70,000 children who suffer from the disease that affects the human immune system.

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