Love blossoms as China and India cement friendship

By M.R. Narayan Swamy, IANS

Beijing : Cupid may end up doing more than what diplomats can. As the world’s two most populous nations come together, more and more Indian men living and working in this country are falling in love with Chinese women – and marrying them too.


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The growing rapprochement between the Asian giants has led to increased human traffic between India and China. Today thousands of Indians, almost all of them men, are making a mark in many parts of China in a wide variety of fields.

Diplomats and other Indians here admit that love is definitely in the air.

“Yes, there is this trend (of Indians and Chinese marrying),” said Mehernosh Pastakia, a restaurant owner who came to China 17 years ago from Mumbai and married a Chinese a decade ago.

“There are strong similarities between the two societies on issues like family values,” Pastakia, 41, told IANS. “Of course, there are also differences. So a lot of understanding and adjustment are needed.”

Pastakia admitted that when his wedding took place, “it was something totally new (at that time). The first time you were looked at with awe. Over a period of time, you tend to get accepted. It doesn’t take long.”

When Pastakia married, there were not many Indians in China. Today, thanks to the booming economies in both the countries, there are some 10,000 Indians in China, including some 6,000 students in the age group of 18 to 23.

The mainly male Indians work for multinational companies or are in business – and thus economically well off.

Ravi Ranjan, who has been teaching Indian literature and culture and Hindi in Peking University for two years, said that a growing number of Indian men and Chinese women were becoming friends although not all of them tied the nuptial knot.

“Women here are marrying foreigners in large numbers. Indian men are among those they are choosing as life partners,” he said. “Some don’t marry immediately. They have a live in relationship, and then depending on the circumstances marriages take place.”

Ranjan, who is from Hyderabad, pointed out that the Chinese were deeply committed to their cultural values and this did affect marriages. “I know of a Chennai man married to a Chinese. Their son is being raised as a Chinese. They never go to Chennai.”

Sadhnik Roy, who has lived half his life in China and whose family-owned company has a turnover of $700 million, is also married to a Chinese. He sees no problems in a Chinese-Indian wedlock if the couple shares similar cultural and educational background.

“In that case it does not make any difference whether the wife is Chinese, British or American,” Roy told IANS on telephone. So what about his son? “My kid is growing up as an international person.”

A young Indian yoga teacher in a town north of Beijing said he too had a Chinese girlfriend a year older to him. He interacts with her parents and has taken her to India to see his family. “But I am not sure if this is going to lead to marriage.”

An Indian diplomat said she had come across “quite a few cases” of Indians marrying Chinese. “But what is interesting is that it is always Indian men marrying Chinese women and not the other way round.”

Why? Answered the diplomat: “May be it is because there is hardly any single Indian woman in China!”

The yoga teacher who did not want to be named had a different answer.

“It is a fact that Chinese women are very, very good looking,” he said. “They are very athletic, agile and modern. Unlike (Indian) women they don’t balloon after marriage. The women here go out of their way to stay fit.”

Can attraction based on beauty help a marriage last long?

Said restaurant owner Pastakia: “Finally, it all depends on the two people. Both need to understand each other better. After all you do need both hands to clap and applaud. Is that not so?”

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