(Mother’s Day is on May 8)
By Radhika Bhirani, IANS,
New Delhi : Remember “Wake Up Sid!” and how Ranbir Kapoor snubbed his on-screen mother Supriya Pathak for her lack of command over English? Just like Supriya’s character, who starts brushing up her language skills in the hope “to be a friend” to her son, several mothers are grooming up and shaping up to enjoy their children’s friends circle.Sugandh Lamba, 23, a Kathak dancer, says she feels very proud of the fact that her mom dresses well, and looks almost of her age despite being 30 years older.
“I really like it when people compliment my mother that she looks as if she’s my elder sister, and I feel proud as she is 10 times prettier than I am. I think it is very cool that parents are trying to catch up with today’s generation and they also feel good about it,” Lamba told IANS.
Similarly, Preeti Jha, 20, loves it when her mother puts on a pair of jeans and teams it with a t-shirt every Sunday, and insists that they must go to a mall together to have fun.
“It feels awesome to see that my mother makes so much effort to make me feel special, and pampers me every weekend. I don’t miss having a large friend circle and enjoy whatever time my mother takes out for me. She not helps me shop and pick up chic stuff from the stores, we also go bowling together and watch movies together whenever we can. I also like making her wear clothes of my choice, and she loves it equally,” said Jha, a sociology student.
However, the tendency to do anything to come closer to kids has been a feeling that has existed within parents forever, says child psychiatrist Samir Parikh. But the ways have seen a transformation over the years, he points out.
“I don’t think mothers per se that mothers are dressing up to improve their bonding. That tendency, to come closer to them, has always been there. It’s just that children, in their own ways, bring a change in adults. These days a lot of mother and children go out together and children tend to tell their moms, ‘Why don’t you wear jeans, you’ll look great’. So mothers comply to give little joys to their kids,” said Parikh.
“Additionally, people in our society have become more aware of fashion and dressing, there is a lot more comfortable variety of fashion that can suit people of all shapes and sizes. So even if an old-aged mother walks around in pants, it won’t raise many eyebrows unlike earlier. That has made mothers less conscious,” he added.
Ravina Sethi, mother to a 16-year-old girl, says these minor lifestyle changes are welcomed if it helps in lucid communication with children.
“Look at what kind of things children are getting into these days – smoking, drinking, sex, drugs…all these things so early in life. I think it is very essential to communicate well with the children, and be informed of their friend circle, their activities and for that, one needs to get them into confidence.
“If we behave like strict mothers, who ban them from enjoyment and from having fun, they will never share their ups and downs with us. But if we are like friends to them, they will share it all, and trust us for guiding them right. I think that is very important in today’s day and age,” said Sethi.
On the flip side, Sumita Anand, a mother to two boys, both over 20 years of age, says these tactics don’t help.
“I don’t think I do anything specific to improve my bonding with my kids. That’s already there and I guess my kids would get pissed if I tried dressing young or behaving young only to improve my bonding with them. I’m a mother first and then a friend. And maybe I’d like to let it be that way only,” she said.