In the second of the three-part series, Raqib Hameed Naik looks at the condition of half-widows in Kashmir, and their struggles. While some have moved on and others wait, almost all of them have faced the same issues: rejection, a never-ending wait and zero support from the state.
Srinagar:The case of ‘half widows’, a product of unending conflict in Kashmir, remains under reported in mainstream media. After Kashmir erupted against the rigged elections of 1987, many Kashmiris picked up guns to fight against the Indian establishment.
The Indian government too decided to deal with an iron fist against the uprising to put a curb on Kashmiris joining militancy. As the crackdown on militants started in early 90s, jails and torture centers of different Indian security agencies in Kashmir became occupied with alleged militants and thousands of sympathisers picked up on mere suspicion.
According to the conservative estimates, there are around 8,000-10,000 cases of involuntary and enforced disappearances in Kashmir mainly attributed to be the work of Indian security establishments since the onset of militancy.
The disappearances which continued unabated during 1990s created a sub group of widows who were called ‘Half widows,’ a term for women who did not know whether their husbands were dead or alive.
Like forced disappearances, the numbers of half widows too remain unconfirmed. While the Jammu and Kashmir Coalition of Civil Society (JCCS) puts the figure at around 1,500, others put the number between 2,000 and 2,500.
Most of half widows were surrounded by various emotional, economic and social insecurities after their husbands went missing. But the biggest problem faced by almost every half widow was raising their children and financing their education, for which they ventured out of their homes and worked as labour, apart from doing odd jobs in factories, offices and shops.
“After the disappearance of my husband, I lost my lone bread earner. The financial condition at home left me with no other option than to work. You can’t stand back and witness the things from getting bad to worse. Presently, I am working at a book depot which fetches me Rs 3,000 per month. I know it isn’t sufficient, but for us something is better than nothing,” says Safiya Azad, 40, a half widow whose husband Himayoun Azad went missing in 1993 after picked up by BSF.
Ezabir Ali, a prominent women rights activist who is working on half widows for the last seven years, says the pressure is made worse by a sense of loneliness. “After their husbands went missing, they were left alone with nobody around them with whom they can share their pain and sorrow,” she says.
The bureaucracy also refused to acknowledge them. In Jammu and Kashmir, while widows are eligible for some compensation under civil law, a half widow couldn’t lay claim to compensation. For that, she had to produce the death certificate of her husband, which she couldn’t because, well, she didn’t know whether he is dead or alive.
Some of them were even deserted by their in-laws who, after the disappearance of their husband, coerced them to return to their parents thus undermining their property rights.
“Some years after the disappearance of my husband I along with my four children was asked by my in-laws to leave their house. They didn’t acknowledge our rights over the property of my husband. But I stood the test of times and fought continuously for 14 years to get my children their rights over property. In 2014 we were given our part in property after Mohallah Panchayat intervened but all half widows aren’t too courageous. Sometimes they bow down to pressure,” says Rafiqa Begum,44, a half-widow whose husband Mushtaq Ahmed Khan was picked up by Army in 1997.
The Chairperson of Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons (APDP) Parveena Ahangar, says, “Most of the half widow cases available with us show that they aren’t given property rights by their in-laws, which she is entitled to, being the wife of the missing husband. There are some cases where women do move on with their lives by re marrying, but most of the women opt to spend their lives as half widows by waiting for their missing husbands with makes them more vulnerable to hardships in the backdrop of violation of their property rights by their in-laws.”
A non government organisation, Ehsaas, in 2015 had initiated some steps related to property rights of women with special reference to half widows and orphans by organising a deliberative session of Islamic scholars (Ulemas) in Srinagar in which a landmark break through is expected soon.
The same NGO earlier in 2013 was instrumental in bringing a landmark consensus regarding the waiting period for half-widows which was decided as four years after rounds of consultations among local Islamic scholars.
There was ambiguity among different Islamic schools of thought regarding the waiting period of ‘half widows’ who intended to remarry. The Hanafi School claims 90 years as waiting period after the husband’s disappearance while the Maliki, Hanbali and Shafi school scholars put the waiting period ranging from an years and to seven years.
“For half widows waiting and forgetting is painful, but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering which they endure,” says Ali.
Almost all the half widows demonstrated anxiousness and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the disappearance of their husbands mostly actuated by their memories.
“Most half widows reported anxiety, often described as “gabrahat” (palpitations), sleep disorders and lack of interest in everyday activities. To ease these problems, most of these women have resorted to self-medication, consuming easily available anti-depressants, resulting in further health issues,” explains Ali.
For, many half widows, remarrying is similar to breach of trust with their missing husbands who have decided to fight the hardships single handedly by waiting for their husbands to return even if it takes decades. Now, on the tenth of every month, half widows along with the relatives of other missing persons join silent protest in Partap Park, near city center Lal Chowk to seek the justice and answers on whereabouts of their loved ones.
Read Part-I here: Armed with a pictures that tell a thousand words: The protestors of Pratap Park