By Binoo Joshi, IANS
Doda (Jammu) : After years of lording it over everyone in her neighbourhood, Shayista Nassem is today a widow who struggles to feed her three children and herself. In Jammu and Kashmir, this is the fate of most women whose militant husbands have been killed by security forces.
Now in her late 20s, Shayista married in the summer of 2004 Shakeel Ansari, a feared commander of the Hizb-ul-Mujahideen separatist outfit who was later shot dead in the Kashmir Valley.
That day Shayista's world came crumbling down.
Shayista was betrothed to Shakeel while she was a student but she married him after he had become a militant leader. Even then she did not change her plans to marry him. Instead she was enamoured of being the wife of a "mujahid", knowing well that he could be killed one day.
Being a militant leader's wife gave her a certain aura. She used to strut in the area where she lived in Srinagar. Everyone, especially young girls, were in awe of her. To prove that they too were good Muslims they would wear 'burqa' and offer prayers to keep Shayista in good humour.
All that has now changed. The once confident Shayista is a pale shadow of herself. She is a widow, minus the protective cover of being a top militant's wife. She has to support herself and three children. Iqra Shakeel, 6, is the eldest daughter.
There are no helping hands around. She lives with her parents who do not have means enough to survive themselves.
Still worse is the case of another girl, Shakeela Akhtar, who was forcibly married to a commander of the Al Jehad militant outfit in a mosque in the presence of two or three militants.
Her parents were forced to witness the wedding to give it an air of legitimacy.
Today she is also a widow with two small daughters to support. No one wants to marry her although she is still young.
Even those willing to help her are scared of the complication that might follow. Why help a militant's widow?
The reluctance is also due to fear of security forces.
Jammu and Kashmir officials say these are not two isolated cases. There are plenty of young women who suffer similar fates in Doda, a rugged hilly region where militants often married more than one girl.
In some cases, the in-laws of these girls are unable to take and accept all their daughters-in-law. So they have no choice except to be a "burden" on their parents.
In the process, however, Kashmiris have learnt some hard lessons.
The moment parents suspect that militants are eyeing their daughters, they shift out of their villages and get the daughters married off in towns.
"After all there will be some certainty in life this way," said Mumtaz Begum, whose brother fled his village with his family because militants wanted to marry his two daughters.
"It is better to live in penury than have luxury with tensions all the time," she added.