By Afshan Khan for TwoCircles.net
Imagine that it is the first day of the holy month of Ramadan and you are fasting with full excitement and you suddenly realize at the end of the day, before Iftaar, that you are bleeding! The feeling can’t be explained when you keep your fast for almost full day without eating and drinking a drop of water but still your fast is no more valid because of a natural cycle i.e. the Menstruation. No one can be blamed for this heartbreaking feeling but whatever happens during Menstruation has to be blamed upon society. Women wake up early, feed family members and still do not eat anything because they feel depressed, yes because they can’t keep their fasts, sometimes girls wake up in the mid night to take suhoor even when they need rest and their bodies ache badly. But why does all this happen? What compels them to do so?
The list of myths and prejudices against a menstruating woman is endless. Different versions of religions and cultures throughout the world treat women differently during their menstrual cycle. The most common thing among all is that women are considered to be “unclean”. Menstruation is believed to be a private event which has not to be discussed openly. The various studies of UNICEF brings our attention towards the mindsets that are associated with menstruation. In most of the countries, women are considered as polluted, while in other women believe that they suffer from a disease. All these perceptions lead to the harsh behavior of society towards women which further results into poor health of women.
When this topic is related to the health of women then why not have a healthy discussion about it? This is very unfortunate that women themselves feel shy and do not want to talk about a purely ‘natural’ thing.
While in some religions and customs women are restrained from cooking, taking a bath or even comb hair, maintaining distance from their husband etc,. Islam does not advocate restricting women from any act of social life. Neither it stops women or men to discuss about Menstruation whenever necessary. Qur’an and Hadith (the tradition) clearly speaks about this natural process in women and does not make it to be a curse or a punishment. Islam calls it a ‘natural phenomenon and a blessing for women’ as it is associated with their fertility and motherhood capability.
Then why do Muslim women hide it and pretened to be fasting during Ramadan as if they don’t go through this monthly periods in this month, what does make them feel so ashamed of this purely natural cycle?
I tried to talk to thirty women asking the same question,” what is the difference between Menstruation during Ramadan and any other month of the year? How do you feel when you get your Menstruation during Ramadan?”
It was of no surprise to me that each of the women said that they feel anguish about their Menstrual cycle during this Holy month. “I wish I could stop it during Ramadan”, said half of the respondents.
Girls below 20 complained that their mothers do not like it to be known to any male members and this is why they have to remain hungry, sometimes they can’t even ask their brothers or father for a painkiller when they feel pain. Girls also explained that they are often asked by their parents (father and brother) about prayers and they have to show off offering Salah (prayer).Some married women told that their kids ask them the reason of not having fast and whenever the truth is revealed to male members then they feel embarrassed. These things make them feel irritated throughout their periods.
If this does not sound weird or a matter of worry to you then let me tell you that most of the women suffer from deficiency of Calcium, iron and hemoglobin due to which they go through immense pain in stomach, legs, lower back, headache etc during their periods, sometimes the pain is so severe that they crawl on the floor and cry badly. Many of the women have to take painkiller and still do not feel better. Imagine if your whole body is aching and you have to cook food in kitchen or do other household works like cleaning the floor etc. or make Iftaar for rest of the family members? And the worst thing is that you can’t share your pain and feeling with someone.
Of course we should not celebrate the habit of sacrificing on part of women that they are used to. Instead, we need to educate them and help them understand their own bodies and they should love it and not feel vulnerable about it. When it comes to the religious argument for women feeling the fear of being left out ,then we really need to distinguish between the religious teaching and the customs. Islam clearly holds that women are not impure ‘Spiritually’ but ritually, it is a legal matter than spiritual. Women are exempted from offering prayer or keeping fast which is not less than a blessing. For instance if a woman is already going through mood swings, emotional distress, irritations, due to hormonal changes, needs more nutrients, needs rest, feels physically weak, and her body needs to be more hydrated then , exemption from fasting and praying is definitely like a blessing and not a curse. Therefore Muslim women need to understand that their Lord wants them to take care of themselves without feeling ‘guilt’. As it is written in Qur’an , “God desires ease for you, not hardship” (2:185).
Practices such as exclusion of women from society during menstruation is completely against the teachings of Islam.
There are some references in the Authentic Hadith (Sahih Bukhari) regarding the Menstrual cycle in women. One reference explains that Aisha (the wife of Prophet Muhammad) used to comb his hair while she was in her Menses. Another reference tells that Prophet Muhammad used to lie with his wife, Aisha under the single sheet during her menstrual cycle and he would recite the verses of Qur’an putting his hand on her stomach. He also used to take the prayer mat from her hand, which denies any behavior of untouchability towards a menstruating woman. He also allowed women to join religious gatherings. Sahih Muslim refers that Prophet Muhammad advised his Companions to behave in the same way with their wives during Menstruation as they usually do, here it refers to the change in mindsets like women are to be kept away from their husbands. He only prohibited sexual intercourse during Menstruation.
So why to believe the Menstruation as a vulnerability when one can completely rest and still remember Allah, the deed which is loved by the Almighty. Women who take their health carelessly are not actually obeying God because this is his command. Hence, all the weird beliefs that lead to further encouraging and strengthening the taboos against Menstruation, are in real sense leading to the isolation of women and increase the problem of personal hygiene and increases the already existing inequality. This eventually leads to the status of women during her periods as ‘untouchable’ which make them to hate their own bodies. This is a high time for men also to realise that their daughters, sisters, and mothers need to be taken care of as this is not only the responsibility of women to take care of all but they have to be partners in every aspects of life. Women have to take an initiative and if can’t celebrate their periods then at least they should Take Care of themselves and leave away the shame. Because after all the ‘Health is Wealth’
(The author is a Delhi-based freelance writer and founder member of YuvaAdda.com)